After a crazy weekend, my spirited child needs a good break and I need some downtime as well. Unfortunately, there are some weeks that a down day is harder to arrange than others.
This past weekend and start to the week was a perfect example of how a busy weekend effects my spirited Mister Man.
We started Saturday with a soccer game and preparations for Sugar Plum’s baptism and party. It was a busy morning, the kids played while we prepared, but there was still something happening at all moments. A few hours later, we had Sugar Plum’s baptism which happened to fall right around the kids quiet time on a normal day.
Following the baptism family and friends joined us at our home to celebrate. Everyone had a great time, including the kids. But it was a late night after a busy day. Then Sunday, we had more people over to watch our hometown teams (Chiefs and Royals). It was another busy day with entertaining and loud crowded rooms. Sunday allowed for a bit more downtime, but still not the normal.
Mister Man made it through the weekend with relative ease. We had spent the week discussing the weekend’s agenda, so he was prepared for the day and what it entailed for him. I think this was key in making it through the weekend. His knowing the plan made him ready for the transitions, irregularity and crowds.
We survived the weekend, but Monday happens to be one of two days that we have sports scheduled in the afternoon/evening. Unfortunately, Monday’s are also a day that if school runs a bit longer than normal (which it did today) we do not have time to rest before trampoline and gymnastics. This is what I believe pushed Mister Man over the edge.
In retrospect, an easy relaxing day after the crazy weekend probably would have been the better option today. But truthfully, school today was fun and he had quite a bit of downtime between subjects (which is also why it took a bit longer than normal).
He was perfect through schoolwork and did great at his trampoline class this afternoon. But waiting for Sunshine to complete her gymnastics class proved to be too much. He had a hard time listening and behaving as expected. After a discussion, we agreed that it would be best if he sat by me and colored instead of running around with the others. When I say we agreed, I actually mean we both agreed, we talked about some other options then he suggested that he could color by me and maybe his friend would come to color with him. Which is exactly what happened and he was great through that time. Issues avoided.
Then, it was time for soccer practice. Getting a group of (10) 5 year old boys together at 6:00, when everyone is worn out from the day and more than likely hungry, is a disaster waiting to happen. For Mister Man, it was a continual hour of falling down, crying, playing again… by the time we left he was flooded and was throwing a tantrum.
It was impossible to get him to calm down there at the field with the two girls already loaded in the car, one close to yelling because she was gassy and hungry. I managed to calm him down enough to get his seat belt on so we could head for home. But he was definitely not ready to talk. The car ride home was short but the tantrum continued. At home I told him he needed to calm down and mommy needed to have a few minutes to calm herself. When we were both calm we would have a conversation, but as always, I refuse to listen or talk when there is not respect from both parties involved.
He went to his room to put on his pajamas and calm down. I went to get Sugar Plum fed.
As soon as he had calmed down, we had a discussion. We talked through his feelings, what was going on in his mind, what I had noticed, and then we discussed how he could have handled the situation better (problem solving). Soon he was ready to finish the last part of the day; he ate dinner and headed back to bed.
Tomorrow we had plans, but they were not absolutely necessary. We have canceled those plans and instead we are planning to have a relaxing day with nowhere to go. Quiet time/naps will be a necessary part of the day and hopefully a relaxing day will get us back on track for the rest of the week.
Hindsight is 20/20 and while we made it through today, maybe next time we can avoid some of the issues by being better prepared.
It is a daily struggle, but I’m working on it and so is he. Day by day, we make progress slowly, but we are trying and that’s what truly matters. One day hopefully he will be able to understand what he is feeling and stop the flood before it overwhelms him. Until then I am working to anticipate and prepare him for what lies ahead. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.