Where I am Supposed to Be

Where I Am Supposed to Be - Modern Momma Musings
Last night was the first meeting of our newest group at church. A group for the women of our parish. As I prepared for the first meeting, I was nervous and excited all at once.

Starting a group is definitely out of my comfort zone, but I kept feeling called to do more within the church. Everything kept pointing towards a women’s group.

As I prayed before entering the church, I realized that if God put this idea in my head and kept prodding (because yes it took a bit of prodding to get me to agree), then he knows this is what I need to be doing. He put me here for a reason, this is where I am supposed to be.

I needed to stop living in fear and anxiety of the moments that take me out of my comfort zone and start jumping in knowing that God will lead me and He is in control.

Let Go Let God - Where I Am Supposed to Be - Modern Momma Musings
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Let go. Let God.

After that reflection, it was almost smooth sailing. Yes, I was still a bit nervous about the whole thing, but I felt more comfortable, and by the end I realized there really was nothing to have feared from the beginning.

The group was wonderful. We had some great discussions and it felt very comfortable.

Now that I’ve gotten past the initial fear, I am ready to take on the next meetings with excitement instead of anxiety.

All of this got me thinking about how much I shy away from things because they are not exactly what I am comfortable doing. How much am I missing out on because of this ingrown fear?

God has a purpose for me.

He puts me in a specific place at a certain time.

He knows that’s where I need to be and what I need to be doing.

How many times do I let fear or anxiety get in the way of being in that place at that time?

A lot. There are so many opportunities I probably should take. So many times I should just jump in. But fear takes hold and I miss those opportunities.

Maybe some of those times are not supposed to happen, maybe my not jumping in is actually God holding me back. I really don’t know, but I do feel that there are also times I know I should be doing something, but I don’t because of the fear involved. These are the moments I want to take a deep breath and experience the moment instead of letting it pass me by.

This is the Day - Where I Am Supposed to Be - Modern Momma Musings
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Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created. Esther 4:14

All this wondering about seizing the moments, led me to think about how many times I am somewhere, but I am not truly there. Instead, my mind is wandering to the many other things I need to get done or I am messing around on my phone.

How many times am I not present when I should be?

Unfortunately, this happens a lot.

Being truly present in a situation is definitely difficult for me, my mind has a tendency to continue moving even when I should be still. I tend to use any opportunity to plan the next thing instead of enjoying and being a part of what is happening right there, at that moment.

I am always looking ahead.

Wherever you are, be all there - Where I Am Supposed to Be - Modern Momma Musings
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“Wherever you are, be all there.” – Jim Elliot

So my goal for today and everyday is to be more present in the moments and to let go of fear and anxiety about the things God is calling me to do.

I know this will be a hard task for me so I will be taking it slow and trying to be more intentional about my choices and days.

Eventually, I am hopeful I will be a better mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend and all around person for this change.

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